These are words from
Reverend Theresa Ines Soto, the Senior Minister at First Unitarian in Oakland
All of us need all of us to make it.
No matter our
shape or size, no matter the hue of our skin, no matter if our brains are
neurotypical or not. Whether we are tall or short or inbetween. Young or once young. Old or gonna be
old. Cranky, cheerful, skeptical, naïve
– there’s room for you here. Not despite
whatever it is that makes you you, but because of what makes you you.
What makes you
you, makes us us.
Each of us, a part
of the Beautiful Whole.
All of us need all of us to make it.
environmentalist, and Mormon, Terry Tempest Williams wrote a book awhile back
called, Finding Beauty in a Broken World.
The last third of the book is about the unexpected complexity of prairie
dog communities. The middle third is about healing after the Rwandan
genocide. The first third of the book is
about learning how to make mosaics.
She writes about a class she took from a master mosaicist in Ravenna, Italy. There she learned that the tiles used in mosaics are called “tessera.” She also learned the eleven classical rules.
Number one: The play of light
is the first rule of mosaic.
Number three: Tesserae (the plural of tessera) are
irregular, rough, individualized, unique.
Number eight: There is perfection in imperfection. The
interstices or gaps between the tesserae speak their own language.
Number nine: Many colors are used to create one color
Finally, number eleven: The play of light is
the first and last rule of mosaic.
learns things in this class beyond how to make a mosaic. She learns classical history: the first
mosaics were made in Mesopotamia, two and a half millennia before Jesus walked
the earth, but died out as an art form.
It reappeared in 9th century Greece, first made of pebbles, a
cheaper alternative to carpet. Then, as
cut stone became the primary material, the art form spread geographically:
Greece, Turkey, Egypt, and those famous ones in Pompeii, buried under volcanic
She learned other
things. Wisdom that might be applied
beyond making a literal mosaic. How it is not only interesting, but necessary,
to have diversity of color, of texture, of shape, of size. How sometimes, it is not commonality that
ties one tessera to another, but is the tension between them. That somethings, if we perceive them from too
close, in distance or time, they appear messy or disjointed, perhaps even at
odds. But with distance, there is a
beautiful blending and belonging that was not, could not be, perceived close
Her teacher said, “A
mosaic is a conversation between what is broken… Mosaics are created out of community.”
All of us need all of
us to make it.
This past summer, I took a mosaic class while I was in Santa Fe. I’ve placed what I made here for you to admire.
I, too, like Terry Tempest Williams, learned some life lessons from those hours in the studio. For example, there were
times when I was frustrated at my own limits. The teacher used the tools with
ease. When I used them, I was clumsy. Still, the teacher showed me how to
use the tool; she never offered to do it for me—which meant that by practicing,
I had to figure it out for myself.
I learned that there were
two ways for us to turn large sheets of glass into smaller, usable pieces: the
intentional precision of a pistol-handled glass cutter. Or using a ball-peen
hammer and a thwack of force. Each method renders very different results, both
of which are necessary. The beauty of our mosaics emerged from a mixture of precision
and chaos, control and surrender.
As instructed when I
registered for the class, I arrived with a design in mind. However, the further
along I got—transferring the design from my imagination to paper, then to the wooden
base — the less the mosaic looked like my original design. Vision is essential,
but I had to hold mine loosely so the final project could reveal itself to me
along the way.
Here is the wisdom I
gleaned from this class, different from Terry Tempest Williams’:
As much as you can, surround
yourself with skillful teachers, no matter what you are learning. Let them
teach you. But don’t let them do it for you. That learning is yours to do.
Respect the fragments and shards, whether
they’re multi-hued glass or your life’s own story. Yes, they offer the
occasional sharp cut, but they can offer also beauty and new ways to perceive the
Resist the urge to fully map out the future.
Instead, cultivate humility and a capacity to trust. Know that there is a
bigger picture out there, something bigger than any one of us, and we can
connect with it, hitch our tent to it, and discover unexpected beauty.
Terry Tempest Williams
“Mosaic celebrates brokenness and the beauty of being
May you get through this life, not unscathed,
but with all your broken parts available for you to piece together into a
Have you ever had the
experience of putting on your winter coat for the first time since last season
and finding money in the pocket? Or
heard a story about someone buying something at a thrift store and finding
money in it – an old book, the pocket of a pair of jeans, something like that?
Do you ever “hide” money
from yourself and then have the joy of finding it anew? I love it when that happens.
Well, in our congregation’s
budget we have a pocket like that – a lucky pocket. Officially, it is called the Shortfall
Reserve, which is a pretty boring title, though it describes the purpose well:
if we have a shortfall in our budget, this money is reserved to help fill the
Anyway, I am proposing that
from now on, we call it our “Lucky Pocket.”
In past years, this Lucky
Pocket has helped us so that when our budget didn’t balance, we haven’t felt
the depth of cuts that we might have otherwise had. This Lucky Pocket has been a gift from
generations that have gone before you, who sit here now, who looked into the
future and knew there might come a time when having a little extra money in
reserve would help.
Now it’s our time to look to
the future. Now it’s our time to put some money into that Lucky Pocket and
build it up for a time when we really need it.
And lucky for us, there is a
special incentive to do this. A small
group of donors have created a fund – I have been calling it “the Love
Match.” This fund holds $4,000 and will
match, dollar for dollar, what you – and you – and you – and all of us – donate
to the Lucky Pocket from now until November 17th.
We are not asking for you to
make a special pledge – which means you promise to give money in the
future. We are asking for you to give
money now – perhaps today, but between now and Sunday, November 17th. Cash, check, electronic bank transfer, the
swipe of your debit or credit card. As
often as you would like between now and November 17th. You can give all at once, or each week. You can give $10, or you can give $10 each
time you are here.
The Love Match will match
it, dollar for dollar, up to $4000. That
means that we have a chance between now and November 17th to put
into the Lucky Pocket an additional $8000.
And it’s already begun! Every member of the Board of Trustees is
participating. They have already
ponied-up, hoping to inspire you all to do the same. Altogether, they have given $950, which will
be matched by the Love Match. So we are already nearly a quarter of the way
Now, it’s your turn.
I ask you, and the Board of
Trustees asks you: what can you do to help future TUS when it encounters a time
of need? Can you give $100? $300? Can you give up a weekly coffee or espresso
or cappuccino or latte at your favorite café and give $4.90 to TUS.
I can’t wait to hear at our big Rededication Festivities on November 23 & 24th, that we not only earned the whole Love Match, but that we blew it away. That our Lucky Pocket was bulging with abundance from all of you—from all of us – who thanked the generations before us, for creating this place for us, and thought of the generations to come, knowing they could rest easier here at TUS.
you know in your body. Perhaps you know
in your head. Perhaps you know in what
Buddhists call your heartmind, that
deep place of coherence beyond the binary, beyond the either/or, beyond the one
or the other.
have moved past climate change…
climate catastrophe or crisis or constriction. Emergency. Breakdown. Chaos. Take your pick.
of stopping global warming, there are
some who have given up the notion of prevention and now speak of mitigation. Sometimes,
folks with this worldview – and perhaps it is you — speak of adaptation, lower
case “as,” a kind of adjustment that forecasts society as still recognizable,
our current linear economy more or less intact, just smaller, inconvenient to
be sure, but manageable.
are those who speak of reversing the damage, of seeking salvation (and perhaps
even redemption) through technology or artificial intelligence or a combination
of both. Seeding the clouds, carbon
capture. Perhaps this is you.
though I do not hold these worldviews, if you do, I honor you.
are those who believe we are well beyond the tipping point, yet believe that it
is irresponsible to disseminate that perspective, no matter the science to back
it up, for it raises despair. Perhaps this is you.
is not me, though it is tricky for a minister to raise despair without
guaranteeing a counterweight of hope, a punchline to the perverse joke of
environmental destruction. Or at least a
a definition I borrow from Jem
Bendell, an academic in Britain, the founder of the Institute for Leadership
and Sustainability and of the Deep Adaptation Forum; and associated with the
new movement, Extinction Rebellion.
I want you to hear that again, for it’s important for this morning’s sermon:
an uneven ending of our normal modes of sustenance, security, pleasure, identity, meaning and hope
is not the collapse of a house of cards, something known from the very
beginning will fall apart. No, this is
collapse of what we were raised to believe was rock solid.
Adaptation is a concept put forward by Bendell, whose paper, “Deep Adaptation:
A Map for Navigating Climate Tragedy” was published about a year ago (on July
27). A mere 26 pages, with an additional
ten pages of citations, Bendell concludes that collapse is both inevitable and
“It is a difficult conclusion to
arrive at. And a difficult one to live with.” (Bendell)
Bendell is no cynic or masochist, nor is he particularly morbid, as far as I can tell, having never met him. He is a person who has turned towards fear and grief for the world. A person who has invited the poison of despair to surface and the terror of species extinction to manifest in his psyche.
person who has lived to tell about it on the either side. Doing so, speaking of
hope and love; speaking not of Doom and Gloom, but of Doom and BLOOM.
In Deep Adaptation, collapse is coupled with love, community, and compassion. Rather than lose all hope, it is about shifting the shape and texture hope now takes. Survival at any cost is not the pinnacle of human aspiration.
Instead, how we are with one another –
cultivating what some call our humanity, but is much wider than that, more
inclusive of all sentient beings – that is our utmost aspiration. Our goal is not to turn against each other,
as Tim deChristopher described in the video reflection we just watched. Not
survival at any cost if the cost requires us to be ugly to one another.
Adaptation offers four guiding principles:
Resilience: discerning which values and norms we wish to
retain and cultivate as we seek to survive. This is a deeper concept than the
more typical notion of resilience as bouncing back from adversity – rather than
bouncing back to one’s previous circumstance or capacity, it’s about
intentional cultivation of some of our capacities that will serve us going
It makes me think of some of what we heard in
the video earlier, from Tim deChristopher.
With the impossibility of seven-plus billion people living in a climate
constricted world, what kind of society do we want to have. How do we cultivate it right now? Resilience.
Then the other side
of the cultivating resilience coin:
opposite of cultivating. This is about
letting go – relinquishing – capacities that may have served us in the past,
but will no longer do so – in fact, might make things worse. For instance, buildings along coastlines or
on flood plains. Access to foods from halfway across the planet or out of
season locally. No more avocadoes in Buffalo. Here in Jersey, peaches only in
July and August. Relinquishment.
Restoration which is about rediscovering attitudes and
approaches of to life that were largely, or wholly, left by the wayside in our
fossil-fuel-saturated, growth-based society. Waking with the rising of the sun,
sleeping with its setting. Moving away
from a linear economy of take-make-use-lose to a circular economy where reducing
is prioritized first, reusing as second, and recycling is still an option, but
only after those first two. Restoration.
fourth R was not in the original paper, but added in January of this year. It’s
Reconciliation. and it asks, “What could I make peace with
to lessen suffering?” It is an invitation to make peace within ourselves, with
others in our personal lives or in our cultural circumstances (like healing
systemic racism), or with whatever divine source in our lives calls to us. We do this because without some form of
reconciliation, we risk tearing each other apart, increasing our suffering on
the way to collapse. Reconciliation.
attended high school in the early 1980s, the height of the nuclear arms race
and the peak of mutually assured mass destruction. The first sleep-away summer camp this nerd
ever went to was during high school and it was studying the impact of nuclear
holocaust on literature. So I think it’s
fair to say that my life holds a long-running thread related to the possibility
was in this era of my life that I came across this quote, which I wrote down in
this very notebook which I hold in my hand, the first entry in 1984 and the
last in 2003. The quote comes from someone
named Elissa Melamed and clearly captured my imagination back then. You can
find it at the top of your order of service:
I don’t know how long
we have. We have to do this work because
we believe in peace and in building peace.
We start with ourselves, our communities: the circles get larger. If the bomb falls tomorrow, there’s something
so valid about living this way, that we would live this way anyway.
This is the reason to turn towards our grief for the climate, towards our despair for the planet, rather than away. This is the reason to let surface the fears and, yes, even the terror, that we might release it. It may not let full go of us, but it will take on a different weight and a lesser power in our personal lives and in our collective life.
This should not be done alone. Isolation makes the burden heavier. While feeling such heavy feelings may feel beyond possible, the alternative is exponentially more corrosive. To our individual selves and to society.
Shifting out of isolation,
normalizing conversations about the climate emergency we find ourselves in,
weaving and reweaving connection of community and growing deep inclusion now —
these are our survival tactics. Being present in this way takes practice, for it is not easy to allow
ourselves to feel the despair, the rage, the sorrow, the guilt.
Surfacing our climate grief is not a
substitute for enacting change in the public sphere. It is, rather, a tool of
such efforts, likely making us more effective, for we come out of such sharing
more robust, more able to face the world as it is. As British psychologist, Susie Orbach, another
member of the Extinction Rebellion movement, says, “We need to mourn AND organize.
It should not be one or the other.”
is exactly the reasoning behind one of the new ministries – Adult Religious
Education, if you prefer that term better – that I will be facilitating this
year. Starting on September 15 – it’s a
Sunday evening – there will be gatherings here called ClimateSpirit. These gatherings will include food, poetry,
activities that are grounding, singing (I am looking for someone to take on the
role of leading the songs — I am willing, but we all know there are folks
better equipped than I to do this).
time we gather, we will begin by grounding ourselves in gratitude, essential to
how I was taught to facilitate such groups.
Then we move into space that invites our pain for the world. After that,
we engage our imaginative hearts, rather than our skeptical intellects, into
seeing with new eyes and then practice going forth into the world.
will likely be tears. And definitely
will not be a space for sharing the latest horrific news or intellectual
debates. We will, as much as possible, veer away from advice giving. We don’t
gather to solve each others’ problems; we gather to offer our witness and to receive
it, to lessen the weight of the world so that each can be able to do what is
theirs to do, whatever that is.
often will we meet after that first dinner workshop on September 15? I’m not
sure. Quarterly? Every other month? Monthly?
It depends on the momentum we generate.
I want to fess up. While I have developed this ministry this for you, the
congregation I serve, and for our local community, which I also serve, let’s
not kid ourselves: I am doing this for me.
I spent most of my summer study leave focusing on the climate
crisis. What I learned or was confirmed
for me is devastating. I need this. And I know that I am not the only one.
you know in your body. Perhaps you know
in your head. Perhaps you know in what
Buddhists call your heartmind, that
deep place of coherence beyond the binary, beyond the either/or, beyond the one
or the other: you need this, too.
May the ways we prepare for this
great turning, whatever it be, be ways that lead in love.
May it be so. Amen. Blessed be.
Jem Bendell, Doom & Bloom, This is Not a Drill
A quarter century ago, I asked the coordinator of my grandmother’s hospice care, how my grandmother was doing – not medically, but spiritually. She said simply, respecting both my grandmother’s confidentiality and my grief-as-curiosity,
“As we live, so we die.”
This was unfortunate for my
grandmother, who barely topped five feet but intimidated the beejeezus out of
nearly anyone, including her progeny, with her need for control and insistence
on her rightness in the world. Dying was
no easy path for her.
Today I want to tell you
about a different older woman whom I also loved. I want to tell you about a different way to
encounter dying and death. I want to
tell you about someone who, when the time was right, couldn’t wait to be the
I want to tell you about Eleanor “Lee” Hawkins.
In the process of becoming a
Unitarian Universalist minister, one must go before the daunting Ministerial
Fellowship Committee. When I was
preparing for that august meeting, word on the street was that a commonly posed
question was a request to name a Unitarian or Universalist or Unitarian
Universalist hero from each of the last four centuries.” I knew that I would
name Lee as my 21st century choice.
Lee was, indeed, that
hummingbird. In 2004, a full decade
before she died, when her husband was dying at home, he called out to Lee from
the bedroom. It was time. He told her
that he was at death’s door. Lee went to
him full of devoted love – they had been married for decades upon decades and
were still effervescent with their adoration for each other. She sat on the bed, and asked, “Rog – what’s
Minister or lay person,
churched or so-called “unchurched,” organized or free-range, death is the great
leveler, and there is much for us to learn and gain and be enriched by these
stories and acts of witness. So, I am telling you about Lee because I want her
witness in the world – dead as she is now — to enliven and expand your notions
of what is to be human in this aching world that always, without exception,
ends in death. In this way, I make good on a promise I made to her: to tell the
story of her death and her life.
Born in California, Lee lived
much of her life in Staten Island, active in the UU congregation there. Then, for the last twenty or so years of her
life, she was in Northampton, Massachusetts, where she and I were members of
the same UU congregation.
As I understand it, for most
of her adult life, Lee spoke of her intention to be aware and in control at the
end of her life. Yes, documents: a will,
advanced directive, all that, yes. But conversations,
too, with her family: extraordinary medical interventions, her vision of what a
good life is and also what a good death might be.
Control is the wrong word, conveys the wrong meaning, because she was not controlling death in the way too often depicted in our death-adverse culture – controlling it by keeping it at bay. What I mean is being in relationship to death, being willing to surrender to death, when the right time comes.
This intention was part and
particle of her deeply rational, deeply kind, deeply political being. As she gained years, having not succumbed to
the vagaries, surprises, and tragedies so many of us humans experience, she
prepared for the possibility of dying of old age on her terms.
This impulse was not born of
that depression that can accompany
the aging process, which is often so much about losing – losing capacities,
losing friends, losing out on experiences in the wider world – though
anticipating this, and eventually experiencing it, did inform some of the
timing and texture Lee’s choices.
While her choice was a personal and private one, shared with her family and closest beloveds, Lee was public about her plans. When the time came – and she did not know exactly what time that was, but when it did – she would “manage her own death.” That’s the phrase she chose to describe her actions. “Manage her own death:” facing towards it, not away.
She researched her options
methodically and with attention to how her choice might impact her family and
community. She made her decisions in
relationship with her adult children – not seeking their approval, but informing
them, bringing them along, gaining their assent. In the end, at the age of 90, still without
terminal diagnosis, living in a body weakening and a mind beginning to forget, after
significant research, she made it clear that, when the time came, she would
stop eating and drinking.
Five springs ago, Lee was living
at home, one side of her body weakened so much she could barely use it. She found herself facing the reality she might
fall and lose her autonomy.
In June, I heard from a
mutual friend: it was nearly “time.”
Like so many of her friends
did at this time, I brought dinner over to Lee.
Each of us did this, knowing we were not just bringing food – Lee barely
had any hunger at this point – but coming to spend time with her. We were having what each of us knew would be
our last conversation, our good-bye. Lee
took such delight in the gift of knowingly having a last conversation – she
said it was one of the best parts of being public about deciding to manage her
That summer I was working as
a hospital chaplain intern at a
Trauma I hospital — part of preparation for the ministry that all Unitarian
Universalist ministers go through. While
“eating” with Lee, I asked her if she would be interested in meeting with my CPE
peers and supervisor. Lee had been a
school teacher for decades and never lost that drive to teach. Indeed, she jumped at the chance.
Seven of us – representing
multiple faith traditions — spent a few hours with her, listening to and learning
from a person choosing to encounter death with such intention. One of my favorite moments from that meeting
is Lee chiding the ones who didn’t ask questions – “how could they pass up this
opportunity?” she queried, impatient at their timidity.
By late August, Lee had intentionally
stopped eating and drinking. Surrounded by her three adult children, moving
towards death, Lee invited (and her children allowed), that same local
newspaper reporter and photographer to be present, to record in word and photo,
the process of her dying and her death, which took place on September 2, 2014.
The narrative and photo-narrative was published to much praise… and much condemnation. We have, as a society, for the most part, hidden death away. So, when a person like Lee, or a journalist, or a newspaper, decides to stop hiding, strong feelings erupt.
Not many of us are ready for
death. I am not ready for death.
But it does not much matter,
our readiness, our assent. Death comes. Wise people tell us that if we live our lives
knowing that we are going to die – that we are in many ways, always dying, each
moment – that our lived days will be fuller and more precious. A hard lesson to take in, but our ministries,
and our very lives, depend upon it.
While you or I may not make
the same choices as Lee made, I invite you to consider the invitation her
choices extend to us all: to bring intentionality to our lives by bringing
intentionality to our deaths before they happen. To hold conversations with those nearest us,
with someone here in this room, even with strangers. To engage in a process of discernment about
the end of life – about the end of your life – and then share what you learn
with those nearest and dearest to you. While some say to contemplate death is a
morbid preoccupation, it’s actually true that there is a way for such
ruminations and meditations to be… enlivening.
Let me close with another UU
voice who has blessed us with reflections upon her own death. The Rev. Nancy Shaffer was diagnosed with a
brain tumor which eventually, and far too soon, took her life on June 5,
2012. Nancy kept a journal with the
intention of having her reflections published, which they were, under the
title, While Still There Is Light:
not lost on me:
that I have a tumor
That – I
am told – will someday kill me
also the advantage
must reflect now –
am alive –
On the meaning
of my life
I want to leave it.
have died quickly.
I get to
grieve for my own self.
tender and not-to-be-missed
May each of us be more able to face death: that of loved ones — even our own — to know peace and ease, and perhaps even the curiosity of Mary Oliver’s hummingbird.
The woman shared
how she changed the words from “there is more love somewhere” to “there is more
love right here,” because this
reflected her experience of finding love and belonging within Unitarian Universalism. She asked, why, at GA, it wasn’t sung with
those changed words.
Dr. Rideout, tired
but willing, said, “Thank you for trusting me with that question,” and then
continued his response. Here are his own
… I explained to her why I thought it was necessary — particularly with the music of people of color — that we enter and examine these songs with more curiosity than colonization.
I thanked her, and…I explained that it can be difficult to understand the lived experience of those who have trouble finding the evidence of love in their immediate vicinity; in their church; in their neighborhood; in their city; in their nation; even in their planet.
I thanked her, and I explained that for some who don’t share the privilege of perceiving love “right here,” moving toward that idea of privilege had become a vital practice of Black faith.
I offered that if we, as a spiritual community of Unitarian Universalists, populated by well-meaning people, are to mean anything to the lives and the deaths of people of color, we must begin by learning — not squelching — the forms of expression that arise from these living perspectives.
And she said, “Thank you. I’ve never heard it expressed that way. I’ve never understood it that way. And I will never sing it that same way again.”
More curiosity than colonization. That’s a powerful contrast.
Dr. DiAngelo, an Associate Professor of Education at the University of Washington, is the best-selling author of a book based on a longstanding concept for which she coined the term, back in 2011, “white fragility.” Published by (Unitarian Universalism’s own) Beacon Press, it is currently at #3 (on the paperback, non-fiction list) on the New York Times Bestseller list and has garnered much attention far and wide.
Dr. DiAngelo has
presented at General Assembly and is scheduled to present again this year. For a religious denomination that is majority
white and declares that racial justice and dismantling white supremacy are crucial,
her work is challenging, compelling, constructive – though not comfortable or
comforting – and in my opinion, crucial.
So, just what IS
Even if the term is
new, the concept isn’t. Likely by any
person of color recognizes the behavior, though probably fewer white people do,
even well-meaning, well-intentioned, liberal and progressive white folks. It takes many forms. In my white experience, it is unavoidable and
inevitable. And it is also workable.
When I say that it’s
not a new concept, think of the passage from Dr. King’s Letter from a
Birmingham Jail, where he takes to task white moderates, calling them – us?
– a greater stumbling block than the KKK.
He describes the white moderate as someone “who is more devoted to
‘order’ than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of
tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice.” This devotion to
order, as well as the preference for the absence of tension, are the bedrock of
for understanding how race – and in particular, whiteness – operates has been
clarifying and challenging and expanding for me. I raise it here, on Sunday
morning, because I think it might be useful to you, whether you are white or a
person of color. And because it can be helpful to us as a congregation that is
majority white, but aspires to engage in racial justice work and to be
welcoming and truly inclusive to people of color here, not just in our
intention, but in our actual impact.
we heard in this morning’s reading, Dr. DiAngelo posits that in our modern,
post-civil rights society, there is a good/bad binary when it comes to racism. Racism
is bad, so only bad people can be racist. If I am a good person, then I can’t
this false binary precludes us from seeing that good people can say or do
things with racist implications or impacts all the time. And while it happens without diminishing our
inherent worth or our essential goodness, it does seem to lead to white people
becoming defensive and failing to see harm we cause. DiAngelo writes
Within this paradigm, to suggest that I am racist is to deliver a deep moral blow—a kind of character assassination. Having received this blow, I must defend my character, and that is where all my energy will go—to deflecting the charge, rather than reflecting on my behavior. In this way, the good/ bad binary makes it nearly impossible to talk to white people about racism, what it is, how it shapes all of us, and the inevitable ways that we are conditioned to participate in it.
And then she names
the problem with this:
If we cannot discuss these dynamics or see ourselves within them, we cannot stop participating in racism.
This defense of our character –
and I am here speaking to other white folks in the room – expresses itself in
recognizable ways, for which she uses the umbrella term, “white
fragility.” DiAngelo has developed a
list of qualities or behaviors that make up white fragility; it is included in
your order of service. It’s too dense to recite in wholesale from the pulpit. I
encourage you to take it home with you as a prompt for family conversations or
personal reflection, being sure to pay attention to the reactions that arise
within you as you do.
Having just explored the second to
last item on her list – “defensiveness about any suggestion
that we are connected to racism” – I want to raise to you the last item: “a
focus on intentions over impact.”
want to raise it because some of what we use to form community, including in
our covenant of right relations (the bullet point to assume the good intentions
of others) can lead us to minimize harmful impacts.
want to raise it because I think that if we are going to engage in the
dismantling of white supremacy culture and the marginalization of any group of
people, we have to start paying attention the impact of our actions, not just
A simple example to illustrate the point: I accidentally step on someone else’s toe. I didn’t intend to, yet I hurt them. The impact is pain, perhaps injury. It is not enough to say that I didn’t mean it. To be in right relationship, I must tend to the pain I caused. Pretty straightforward in that situation. Yet racism coupled with white fragility makes it more convoluted.
remember that the first time I was told that a phrase I had just used was
racist, I felt the sting of being called out.
Racist? Me? That simple term?
Then I listened and learned that the word “gyp” – as in, being tricked
out of something – is based on a racist stereotype of gypsies – the Roma people
– as deceptive thieves. Though I did not intend harm, I was thankful to be
informed that was the impact of my use of such a phrase, so that I could choose
a different way to convey the same meaning.
My white colleague,
Molly Housh Gordon’s, who serves our Unitarian Universalist congregation in Columbia,
Missouri, describes white fragility as,
“when white people cannot bear to face conversations about race because of the pain of becoming aware of deeply unjust circumstances that people of color have endured with their lives.”
She goes on to
acknowledge that other forms of fragility exist, all of which are located in any
identity that has privilege in our society: male fragility,
able-bodied fragility, hetero- fragility, wealth fragility, cisgender
fragility, and more.
Notice your own internal response to that list, especially
if you hold one of those identities.
Do you notice a defensiveness rising, a wish to argue, or
Do you see rising within you a response like, “well, what am
I supposed to do, feel guilty?”
or an impulse to deflect?
Do you want to talk about good intentions, those of others
or your own, rather than to have to sit with the reality of the impact of
whiteness – my whiteness, your whiteness if you are white?
I raise up all these possible reactions because I know them
personally and intimately. Intellectually, I share Dr. DiAngelo’s suppositions
about how race operates in America; and still I find myself emotionally wanting
to argue against some of her points.
For me, though I’m not proud of it, these suppositions sometimes
feel like accusations. Then I realize, that’s on me – she’s naming a
challenging reality, not making an accusation. That emotional reception, the
one that contorts it into an “accusation,” that’s my responsibility to
own. And I can choose a different
response; I can choose to be curious.
Rev. Housh Gordon has
a playful, but effective, way of thinking about the white fragility
response. She calls to mind a comedy
sketch popular from Key and Peele of Luther, the Anger Translator. At the 2015 White House Correspondent’s
Dinner, the comedian Keegan-Michael Key played Obama’s Anger Translator in real
time, standing behind the president as Obama said everything in measured,
politic tones. Luther would rant and
rave in a way that would never be allowed as a leader of color in our society.
Rev. Housh Gordon feels
that white fragility is not an anger translator, but a SHAME translator. So when
A person of color says: “Hey that thing you participated in hurt me.” And from the shame translator on my shoulder I hear: “You are a bad person unworthy of love.”
Or someone writes: “You received a head start in life because of the color of your skin.” And from the shame translator on my shoulder I hear: “You deserve none of the good or joy you have found in this life.”
Rev. Housh Gordon concluded
These shame translations are lies – the have nothing to do with what is being said or meant, and yet until we build the resilience to override those creeping voices of shame and self-doubt with curiosity and humility, they are powerful enough to shut down transformation and conversation the world over. They have done it for centuries.
if, instead of shame, we bring curiosity to such circumstances, like the white
woman from the story by Dr. Rideout? This
is, of course, not a one-time task, but an ongoing practice; and even a
life-long calling. It is for this reason
that a small group of congregants here, at this time all white, and I are
hoping to put together a covenantal book discussion group next year, to delve
more deeply into this worthy work. Perhaps
you will join us?
describes a situation that I think many of us can recognize, perhaps
even from interactions here in this congregation:
[it’s] the big family dinner at which Uncle Bob says something racially offensive. Everyone cringes but no one challenges him because nobody wants to ruin the dinner. Or the party where someone tells a racist joke but we keep silent because we don’t want to be accused of being too politically correct and be told to lighten up.
These are examples of
what DiAngelo calls white solidarity (fourth from the bottom on the printed
list in your order of service), a term that raises all kinds of defensive
alarms for me, because it sounds like the behavior of groups like the KKK or
the people with tiki torches in Charlottesville.
But I have also
observed in myself when I have kept quiet instead of speaking up. So I’m trying
to stay curious, rather than let that shame translator be what feeds my
In those examples, we
could trade out racist here for sexist, and a similar dynamic is at play.
I have observed in
such situations, in myself and in others, that there is a process of
rationalizing staying silent by convincing myself that the person who just said
the racist or sexist thing had good intentions, just problematic
expression. I have given that benefit of
the doubt around good intention more weight than the possible impact of
creating an unwelcoming environment or causing outright harm. I know I am not
alone as I have spoken with some of you who have been in this struggle. I think
this is something worthy of our grappling with, individually and together as a
I want to close
with these wise words from Dr. DiAngelo, which she speaks as a white person, with
resonance around any of our privileged identities:
I did not set this system up, but it does unfairly benefit me, I do use it to my advantage, and I am responsible for interrupting it. I need to work hard to change my role in this system, but I can’t do it alone. This understanding leads me to gratitude when others help me.
And these gentle words from Rev.
Joe Cherry, which we heard in the prayer:
May we be bold enough to step into our discomfort, brave enough to be clumsy there, loving enough to forgive ourselves and others.
April 21, 2019 The Unitarian Society, East Brunswick, New Jersey
Not my words, but I stand here before you to amplify them.
I want you to see the faces of our current leaders. Our real leaders. Not presidents and prime ministers, or CEOs of world-wide corporations. I want you to see not future leaders, but current leaders, leading us right now.
Greta Thunberg, whose TED talk you just heard, and whose
Twitter Feed describes her as “16-year-old
climate activist with Asperger,” who began striking for the climate last August
by not attending school on Fridays, launching a global movement.
Alexandria Villaseñor, who strikes outside the United Nations every Friday and
has done so since mid-December.
Cowie, whose book we heard earlier, which he co-wrote with some help. He’s been a regular climate striker outside
City Hall in New York. I think he’s 9.
Nazar, co-founder along with Jamie Margolin and Madelaine Tew, of Zero Hour –
all of whom at the ages of 16 co-founded Zero Hour, a youth climate activist
group based out of Baltimore.
is Lilly Platt of Holland. Since the age
of eight years, she was involved in cleaning up plastic pollution. At the age of ten, she heard about Greta and
her strike, and immediately began striking too.
This crew of young people is known
as Juliana et al v. United States, 21 young people who filed a lawsuit in 2015,
asserting that the
government has violated the youths’ rights by encouraging and allowing
activities that negatively impact the climate, such that it significantly harms
their right to life and liberty.
It is not just these young individuals and small groups, but whole youth and young adult movements emerging: Zero Hour as I mentioned before, the Sunrise Movement, and Extinction Rebellion, where just this past week 63 people were arrested outside City Hall in New York and arrests in London for acts of civil disobedience this week are approaching nearly one thousand.
They are living into the
truth of this aphorism, attributed to our Unitarian forbear, Edward Everett Hale, echoing ancient Talmudic
Are the words of 16-year-old
Greta Thunberg’s TED talk still echoing in your ears? Making your heart both
soar with inspiration and sore with the challenge she lays leaden at our
There are losses that cannot be reversed or retrieved. This is our heart-breaking legacy.
Yet, it is within our means to prevent still greater losses. There is no
time to lose in starting or growing the deeply-rooted, radical transformation necessary.
morning, I bring you no scientific facts about climate change. There are other
sources for that. Outside on our frontage we already declare to our larger
community that “Climate Change is Real!” Rather than provide facts, I am here
Some say it is the preacher’s role to preach hope. Others say the preacher’s role is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable, so there’s that. You can let me know which (or both) this ends up being for you.
it comes to climate change, climate changeD, climate chaos, climate
constriction, climate collapse…whatever you call it — preaching hope is not a
straight-forward thing. It’s there; hope is still there. It’s just not in the shape you expect. It doesn’t feel good or comforting. It
doesn’t smile at you or speak softly in your ear or make you laugh with joy.
comes as resilience in reckoning with our utter vulnerability. Hope comes in being able to watch the horrifying
images of what has been lost alongside the beautiful ones of this majestic,
corrupted world. Hope comes from being able to face our own complicity, coming
to terms with what we must give up. As
we heard Greta Thunberg tell us, hope comes in the shape of action.
At this point, hope does not mean reversal. It might mean mitigation. It definitely means adaptation.
Hope takes the shape of youth climate activists – like Greta, like the others whose pictures I have shown, like local ones – Eden Summerlin who is a Unitarian Universalist from the Morristown congregation; like Rachel Gurevich, a 14-year-old who lives here in East Brunswick, both of whom organized a climate strike and rally on March 15, as part of the global movement to get adults in power to up our game.
I spoke with Rachel recently — I haven’t met her (yet). She wants you to know what the youth are up to. She hopes you will come out to the next climate strike rally that they are in the midst of planning — not to take over, they are doing just fine without us adults — but to be there in solidarity, to be there to amplify their voices.
January of this year – just three months ago – Greta Thunberg addressed the
World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland.
In a speech called “Our House is on Fire,” she said,
Too often I feel as if I am home, watching television reporting that my house is on fire. My response? I walk over to the window and wave at the fire fighters who are trying to put it out. It’s absurd, when you think about it. Yet I recognize myself in this analogy, and wonder if some part of you might recognize yourself, too? I’m there, waving at the fire fighters, not really taking in that it’s my house on fire; acting like it’s some random other person’s house on the television, far away, that is on fire. (Thank you to my colleague, Rev. Sara Goodman, for this metaphor.)
stuff is hard. Some of us choose to not
go to deep into the bad news, because it’s so heavy, so despairing. I’m guessing most of us do small dives into
the information by choice or we can’t avoid it. Some of us might do deep dives,
becoming paralyzed by what we learn there, or try to use dissociation as a
strategy so that our minds can try to comprehend it but we don’t feel the
feelings – the fear, the terror.
Rather than dissociating from the terror of extinction, we can choose to rebel against extinction but we must create safe and brave spaces where we can experience the fear and terror, acknowledge it in more than intellectual ways, work through it, and come out the other side, learning resilience, as part of our preparations to do the necessary work of adaptation to the new planet we have made. In the fall, when I preached on this, I called them Islands of Sanity (a term borrowed from Margaret Wheatley).
These places must have singing in them, I think. And laughter, like the poet and Mad Farmer, Wendell Berry says, for when we are expecting the end of the world.
We can give them all the pretty names, but that does not matter if we do not create these spaces and places of adaptation.
Today is not only Earth Day, it is Easter, which we celebrated in our Sanctuary Garden at an early service this morning. Like our call to worship which hearkened us to rise, Easter is a holiday that celebrates rising again, rebirth, and as I preached in the garden, in the spirit of poet Wendell Berry, to practice resurrection. Might we try that? Do we have any choice?
As we bring together our voices in a
chant that was sung at the March Strike 4 Climate event in Morristown, let us
let echo in our ears and hearts these at once exhilarating and daunting words
from Greta Thunberg:
Amen. Blessed be.
** With deep gratitude to Sarah Metcalf, who presented as part of a team a worship service on climate change at the Unitarian Society of Northampton and Florence and who shared her presentation with me, that mine might be inspired by her knowledge and dedication to this issue.
I borrow this series of questions from my colleague, Rev. Peter Boullata. You might also remember that I asked you these same questions about a year and a half ago when I preached about change and generational shifts.
need to speak on the phone in public persists. We just meet that need
differently now. What was once ubiquitous and obvious – for instance, a rotary
phone – becomes if not obsolete, rare and antiquated.
Congregations are famous – or infamous – for being one of the last bastions of “But we’ve never done it that way before.” We humans have a tendency to stick with the familiar.
Yet, this mindset leads us to problem-solve by applying past solutions to new challenges, hoping and assuming that will work. Apparently, Henry Ford once said, “If I gave my customers what they wanted, I would have invented a faster horse.”
We can no longer try to invent a faster religious education program.
In this era of no obligation to attend religious services
or to be affiliated with a religious institution, in this era of getting one’s
needs met through the internet, we Unitarian Universalists and we UU
congregations have something deeply meaningful to offer. We’ve just got to figure out how to do it in
this new cultural and societal context.
About a year ago, I preached on the necessity of “fail, fail again, fail better.” I raised up to you some of the concerning trends in attendance in our RE program, in UU RE programs across the nation, and said that we would be entering into a phase of experi-learning – trying out new things because the old model of Sunday School was not working and the new next thing to meet the needs of children, youth, parents, and families has not yet been invented.
That said, we cannot let go of that essential quality of a religious education program that we heard about in today’s reading, The Playground Atheist from Jake Morrill, in which our children know that they are not alone.
Perhaps you have
noticed that I have been talking about it much more lately. In staff meetings,
in one-on-one conversations, in committee and board meetings, and even from
this pulpit. Even in the weekly eblast, where week before last I inserted this
quote from Religious Educator and Independent Consultant, Kimberly Sweeney:
learning how to be a person of faith (and I will add conscience) by watching
you. Someone is watching us, learning
with integrity about their spiritual leanings and longings;
reach out when there is a death and provide solace;
tell the facts about bodies and sexuality and consent;
show up when someone who is trans or gender-binary is being harassed;
know that families are best defined by love, not the sexual orientation or
gender identity of the people in it;
reach out across religious differences and side with love with the vulnerable
and marginalized; and
experience that meaning making can come from some other place than consumer
Many of you in this congregation found Unitarian
Universalism as adults. You came out of
other religious traditions that you found less than satisfying. This small but
mighty religion was here, in congregational form, for you and in some cases, it
If things keep going the way they are going with our children and youth, both nationally and right here, how we have, according to the data that is available, the worst track record for retaining children and youth of any religious tradition in America, it won’t be around for others who had the same need as you, it won’t be around for your children or grandchildren, if we don’t pay attention to the faith formation needs of children in a new way.
I believe that we as a congregation and that Unitarian
Universalism can be, and must be, life-saving. What we offer not as political liberals, but as religious
liberals, is sorely needed in our world today:
that wisdom comes from many sources and
belongs to no single tradition;
that human diversity — be it racial, ethnic,
national, gender expression, sexual orientation — is natural, holy, and
enriching, making the human family whole;
that both direct experience of mystery and
science-based reason can co-exist and do so for the betterment of culture and
that we all are a part of an interdependent
web of existence, with mutual reliance and collective liberation at its core.
The times are calling us into something new,
something unknown, and we are still very much discerning what that is, what it
looks like. In order to say yes to
the new, there will come a time when we must say no longer to the old; where we will need to let it go, and await,
even cultivate the proper conditions, for what is to come.
I believe that we – in this congregation — have already past the point when it comes to age-segregated classroom-type religious education. We just don’t have the attendance to do anything other than a single room approach. Families come, but only once or twice a month – this is true of adults without children, too, but with less noticeable impact on the RE program.
This shift to a one-room Spirit Lab need not be a loss, but rather an evolution to help us meet the spiritual and ethical needs of children, youth, and parents of today.
Judy Lief, a Buddhist teacher I have long
admired and whom I got to meet for the first time last weekend, wrote this
Our religious education program is in a time
of deep transition. How do we gracefully let go of what is no longer working?
How do we ready ourselves to be open to the new possibilities?
We look to our mission statement, grounding
ourselves in our core purpose. We persist in our curiosity about new models and
possible innovations. We cultivate imagination to stretch beyond what we have
known along with the willingness to sit with unknowing. We come together to
figuring it out together.
And by together, I mean: together. Families attending as often as possible (and
perhaps a bit a bit more than currently seems possible). Congregants without children in the RE
program showing interest and active support, both volunteering and showing up
for what has become – yet again – a dormant Religious Education Committee. The
Board committing financially with a budget that allows for trying out new
possibilities informed by fairly compensated, experienced religious
comes after the Sunday School model of age-segregated classes set apart from
the rest of the congregation? I have
taken classes. I have taken webinars. Currently, I am in what is called “a
Community of Practice” for ministers of UU congregations who are actively
exploring this challenging aspect of the changing congregational landscape. I
can assure you: the next big thing does not yet exist. If it did, I would deliver it to the
congregation on a silver platter.
by what the staff of this congregation have been learning, here at TUS, we have
been trying out ideas, receiving input, revising and tweaking, and trying the
next iteration. At a speed that
sometimes makes my head spin. We have been taking to heart the try, try again,
fail, fail faster, fail better motto. We have been strengthening that “muscle”
that gets us comfortable, or at least more tolerant, of experimentation, of
transition, of change.
didn’t know that we would go through three transitions in religious education staff
in one year. While we could benefit from
some stability in our program, I’m choosing the frame that we have been
expanding our capacity to experiment.
Lab – our religious education program – began meeting in the Gathering Room a
few weeks ago, experimenting with how that larger space impacts delivery of
content to one room of age-diverse children.
It’s noticeable to the wider congregation because that means a change in
coffee hour. We are trying it out this
spring to see how it goes.
learned in the past several years that family attendance drops off in the
spring. Last year, we ended the formal
RE program the Sunday before the Memorial Day weekend; we will continue with
this, having All Ages services in the first half of June, then shift to our
summer status, where we provide child care only.
you have noticed that there is an increase in All Ages services recently? Welcoming
children in this space for the whole service, not dumbing down the content,
providing activities to children if they stay in the sanctuary, increasing the
age of who can attend child care on those days. Acting as if we are really and
truly a multi-generational community. Remembering that there are younger humans
watching older humans be people of faith and of conscience. And paying
attention to whether this impacts attendance.
are also trying something completely new – tonight, in fact – a non-Sunday
morning offering for families, centered around dinner, providing content for
both children/youth and parents. We’re calling it a Family Connection Dinner
and in addition to dinner, it will have a Spirit Lab for the children and one
for the parents. It’s a form of Family Ministry. We are wondering if this might be a way to
meet the spiritual needs of families, since many of our families are coming
only once a month Sunday mornings.
there is more to come. The Sunday
Service Committee has spoken about it, staff whose role is to serve the
religious education program have been talking about it, and I’ve checked in
with our head of Arrangements. The Board
has been discussing these changes, knowing that the budget they recommend to
you next year must be informed by what we have learned this past year of
transition and a vision for what is to come. I hope you will come to the Annual
Meeting on May 19th, whether you are a Member or Friend, for much
will be presented, and hopefully you will choose to discuss it all, including
the congregation’s vision for the RE program going forward. Plus, if you’d like to have an individual
conversation with me about all this, I welcome that as well.
concrete experi-learning change you can expect, likely in August or September,
is a space dedicated to the presence of children in the sanctuary. We’ll try it
out for a couple of months, to see how it goes, the check in with how it is
going. We may find, like another of our
sibling UU congregations, this one outside the Twin Cities in Minneapolis, that
inclusion of children made it a bit louder, but it made it also more joyful.
is how we live into the possibility of a really and truly multi-generational
community, one of the few public contexts left for inter-generational
interaction as our society grows ever more isolated and ever more segregated.
Let us make sure that we do everything we can so that any child or youth associated with this congregation knows that they, like the Playground Atheist, are never alone. Strike that. So that any person associated with this congregation, no matter their age, knows that they are never alone.
[ii] Lief, Judith. Making Friends with Death, p.15.
This afternoon’s ritual
space is a lamentation, a condemnation, and rededication in the aftermath of
the New Zealand tragedy on Friday where so many, too many, taking part in
religious expression at two mosques halfway around the world from here, had
their lives stolen by at least one white supremacist, who named the president
if this, our, nation as inspiration.
In this vessel are shards of broken ceramics, symbols of what has been shattered by this violence. Over the broken pieces, I pour what I call “homegrown holy water,” gathered last September in the congregation I serve as a part of our annual Water Ingathering, made holy by the intentions claimed by the congregation in that ritual, used throughout the year for child blessings and prayers before memorial services. I add it now as an intentional act of healing and witness.
I speak these words of
condemnation: not in our name does this violence happen. We claim those killed, wounded, and touched
by this violence as our kin, bring our presence to their side, and condemn this
white supremacist hate. We recognize
that the damage from the evils of white supremacy endure long after individual
incidents and that it is ours to bring respond, to resist, to create in small
and large ways another world.
I now invite each of
you, as you are so moved, to come forward to add a stone to mark the death of
the fifty, or a gem as symbol of our rededication to a world absent white
As you come forward, I
will speak names of some of the victims – may they have found solace in god in
their last moments, may their families know comfort in their memories, as well
as in a world coming together to resist hate.
Husne Ara Parvin
Lilik Abdul Hamid
Mohammad Imran Kahn
As we come to a close, this
Prayer of Peace, from the Qu’ran:
In the name of Allah, the beneficent, the merciful.
Praise be to the Lord of the Universe who has created
us and made us into tribes and nations, that we may know each other, not that
we may despise each other. If the enemy incline towards peace, do thou also
incline towards peace, and trust in God, for the Lord is the one that heareth
and knoweth all things. And the servants of God, Most Gracious are those who
walk on the Earth in humility, and when we address them, we say “PEACE.”
Think about your personal experiences with the place beyond hope and fear. I’m certain there’ve been many times when you found yourself stepping forward without hesitation. Something in the situation called you into spontaneous action without calculating costs and benefits. This is the definition of courage—actions that spring from an open heart without premeditation. (The word courage comes from the old French word for “heart.”) Sometimes these spontaneous actions are good; sometimes they get us into a lot of trouble; sometimes people lose their lives rushing in to save others. What’s important to notice in your experience is how it felt to be fearless. You were also hopeless. You did what had to be done as it appeared in that moment. You weren’t thinking of outcomes, and you had more than enough energy.
Mike had seen better, and much worse, days. He was a familiar presence in the neighborhood we both called home. He lived in one of the SROs – Single Room Occupancy – buildings – what used to be called a boarding house or flophouse. He was one of several local personalities who had been a long-term in the local psychiatric hospital, placed there as a teenager, whether for true psychiatric reasons or perhaps for developmental disability reasons, living there for decades, then released in the 1980s during the era of de-institutionalization.
I think it’s fair,
though perhaps not kind, to say that he looked odd. Perhaps even intimidating if you didn’t know
him. He had never hurt anyone. He was mostly quiet – not like Geography
Jerry, who had a similar backstory and asked the same geography riddles over
and over. Sometimes Mike hitchhiked from
the Main Street to the village, which is how I got to know him just a
little. Though I gave him a handful of
rides over the years, I don’t think I ever became familiar to him. But he did to me. Familiar and appreciated.
One time, when my
kids were still in elementary school, we rode our bikes to the local soft serve
ice cream joint. I noticed Mike in an
unexpected circumstance: wielding his large flashlight in a menacing manner at
three kids – middle schoolers, I’d say.
I’d seen the flashlight before – you never saw Mike without it – but it
was usually in his back pocket.
I told my kids to
stay put – out of harm’s way – then approached Mike. Not sure what to do, I
knew something needed to be done, and quick. I couldn’t tell what was going on,
but I did not want him to hit the kids.
That would be all kinds of bad. I moved closer cautiously, my heart
beating hard in my chest, keeping a cool distance from the heavy object in his
hand. Calmly, gently, I asked, “Hey,
Mike. What’s up? Something seems wrong.”
Cutting to the
chase: no one got hit or hurt. Mike kept
his flashlight. The three middle
schoolers got a mild tongue lashing from me. It turned out that those kids had
been taunting Mike – he was an easy target for bullies, even ones much smaller than
he. They had tried to take his cherished
flashlight. Mike responded fiercely,
protectively, defensively. I can’t say
that I blame him. So, I even had a semi-maternal conversation with Mike about
potential consequences of his choices.
It taught me two
braver than I think I’ll be when the moment demands it.
aren’t always what they seem.
In this case, my
first impression was that Mike was the aggressor. Not true.
It has helped me
to understand that in other situations, say, when a Black kid hits a white kid
first, it’s important to listen and find out more. It’s just possible — and in
some situations, likely — that the white kid (whispered loud enough only for
the Black kid to hear) said the n-word first.
If so, it changes who the aggressor is and who needs an ally to
“Herein the afterlife, everything exists in all possible states at once, even states that are mutually exclusive. This comes as a shock after your Earthly life, where making one choice causes the other choices to disappear.”
So begins the short story titled “Quantum” in the David Eagleman’s book called, Sum: forty tales from the afterlives. In these forty stories, each 2 or 3 short pages long, we experience possibility and mystery at the same time, someone with a deep irreverence that is salted with reverence (or is it a deep reverence that is salted with irreverence – I think you’ll need to decide), and someone who ably mixes science with godtalk, balancing cleverly on the edge between rationality and irrationality, curious about all the possibilities.
David Eagleman is a neuroscientist, an adjunct professor at Stanford, a former Guggenheim fellow,and host of a show about the brain that aired on PBS. He calls himself a “Possiblian,” a term coined by a friend of his after reading the book. Eagleman describes it this way:
“Our ignorance of the cosmos is too vast to commit to atheism, and yet we know too much to commit to a particular religion. A third position,agnosticism, is often an uninteresting stance in which a person simply questions whether his traditional religious story (say, a man with a beard on a cloud) is true or not true. But with Possibilianism I’m hoping to define a new position — one that emphasizes the exploration of new, unconsidered possibilities. Possibilianism is comfortable holding multiple ideas in mind; it is not interested in committing to any particular story.”
What I find most brilliant about how this book works its way on the reader (or listener):whether you believe in a god-induced afterlife or believe that is utter poppycock and go for the “we’re all worm food” approach, these stories invite you to loosen your grip on whatever certainty you bring to this human question. These little, innocent stories are neither little nor innocent in their power to be a pry bar applied to the arrogance of our own certainty.
Today’s service is strongly informed by two of Unitarian Universalism’s foundational tenets. One of this is our humanist leanings, that whatever our beliefs about an afterlife, our focus returns again and again to this world, being not so much concerned with whether there is another world post-death. (In this way, we share a commonality with Buddhism.)
The other foundational tenet at work in our service today is Unitarian Universalism’s affirmation of religious pluralism. With this in mind, I alert you to the delightful song we will hear during the offertory — Iris Dement’s, “Let the Mystery Be,” the lyrics of which go:
Some say once you’re gone you’re gone forever And some say you’re gonna come back Some say you rest in the arms of the Saviour If in sinful ways you lack
Some say that they’re comin’ back in a garden Bunch of carrots and little sweet peas I think I’ll just let the mystery be
We not only tolerate different theological perspectives; we understand ourselves to be enriched by them. While each of us individually might lean one way or another on the question of an afterlife, how can we do anything but follow the wisdom of that song? Just let the mystery be.
Death is a serious topic. It can be heavy. The afterlife, an afterlife, the possibility of afterlives – can stumble into causing unintended offense, can lead us to develop arrogant stances as we push away the doubts and fears that can arise when we enter into this topical territory. In the spirit of today’s service, I invite us to actively invite in curiosity –not just intellectual curiosity but spiritual curiosity — about the mystery. I invite us to engage with the topic seriously, without taking ourselves – or our own opinions – too seriously.
This service includes five of the forty tales from the book, sum. Four are read by people in this room. One is a beautiful brief film.
It was not easy to cull and curate which tales to include – I wanted to stretch time and, I must admit, I might have overdone it. It we go long and you need to leave before the service is over, please do so.
So let us begin our dancing and dallying with afterlives with this humorous video not at all related to David Eagleman, but from the comic duo, The Kloons.